I Did Not Make It

You read the title right. I failed.

I was actually thinking whether to post this or not because it’s a shame to let people know of your failures. But I realized that I am a strong woman. And strong women faces defeat fairly.

So here it is…

I have told you of my interview experience at West Visayas State University, my dream medical school. Results of the application was expected to be out on May 15 but it was released just this noon, May 16. And as I said, I did not make it.

I can’t deny my disappointment. I hoped for the best but I also prepared for the worst. And here’s now what I have prepared for.

During the interview, one doctor asked me this question: If you get rejected, what do you think would be the reason why?

Since the panelists were blinded of our credentials, I answered honestly and explained that my NMAT percentile rank is not quite high enough. And I guess that is the actual reason why I failed. I did well on the interview, I have a high GPA (with latin honors) and my pre-med course is also ideal. So I guess my NMAT score is to blame (competition in WVSU is really tight because it is one of the top schools in the country).

I prayed hard about this. I, in fact, pleaded God do a miracle because WVSU is really the ideal school for me. But I guess God is teaching me another lesson.

*another because I have had many disappointments similar to this before but I don’t seem to be learning my lesson so God had to break me again

I did not apply to any other Medical School (that’s why I am so desperate right now haha) because I prayed and believed with full assurance that God will make my dreams happen. My bad, I went extreme. I should’ve prayed for a plan B or plan C instead. So right now that my plan A has failed, I do not know what to do.

To be clear, I am not avoiding my Alma Mater—Adventist University of the Philippines. I have no problems with AUP. I love AUP. It’s just that I have been there for the past four years already and I thought it is time that I step out of my comfort zone and grow in a different healthy environment. I am eager to learn from a different perspective, to meet new people and to try new experiences. So AUP is actually my last choice.

As of the moment, I am considering Southwestern University-PHINMA and Southwestern University-MHAM in Cebu City. These are the SDA-friendly universities in that provinces. Also, if I choose Cebu it wouldn’t be hard for me to adjust because I stayed there for almost seven months during my pre-med internship. On the other hand, I am also considering schools in Manila like MCU, FEU and OLFU. I do not know yet because the information I have researched about these schools is still incomplete. Also, most schools have already closed their applications because classes will start soon. So I am actually competing with time.

I really hope I could make it to Medical School this year. If not, I still have good chances next year anyways.

For now, I need to keep trusting. And to never cease praying. I was blessed when I read this prayer from Lysa TerKeust’s book Uninvited.

Lord,

Though the long path is uncertain, You are so faithful to shed just enough light for me to see the very next step. I now understand this isn’t You being mysterious. This is a great demonstration of Your mercy.

Too much revelation and I’d pridefully run ahead of You. Too little and I’d be paralyzed with fear.

So, I am seeking slivers of light in Your Truth just for today and filling the gaps of my unknown with trust.

God sees the bigger picture than I do.

I am not giving up.

jessica

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